Thursday, March 17, 2016

Fisher Hates Food: Feeling Defeated

It's time for another installment of Fisher Hates Food. If you need to catch up on the last update you can here.  You can also read about his story from the beginning here: Part 1 and Part 2.

Last Thursday morning we headed to the doctor for a simple weight check. I knew it would be quick and easy and I wasn't worried about it being a big deal. We spent the last month really working on the amount of calories he was consuming. He had been doing a really good job.  I expected them to tell me he gained at least a half of pound or more.

When the nurse called us back, we were put in room 9 3/4. I took this as a good sign since I love Harry Potter! We put Fisher on the scale and MAGICALLY he dropped weight. I couldn't believe it. He lost weight?!?! He was sick part of the month but I never expected him to weigh less. My stomach dropped. I felt a huge wave of exhaustion and defeat. It took everything I had to not burst into tears right there.

I feel like I need to make a side note: I understand that there are way worse things we could be dealing with when it comes to our kids. I know we are extremely blessed that they are healthy. When I was dealing with infertility I had someone say "If that's the worse thing that has ever happened to you, then you are doing okay." It was extremely hurtful. Possibly the most hurtful statement that has ever been made to my face. Every time I am dealing with big obstacles, that statement always pops into my head.  So I want you to know that I do understand it could be much worse. Fisher's eating and weight issues are still my life and a big struggle that we are dealing with right now.

I posted this picture of Fisher during dinner Thursday evening. This was right after he threw his entire dinner on the floor. Oddly, the big mess was just what I needed to loosen up a bit.  But I can't thank you enough for the SWEET comments and motivation that you left me on both Facebook and Instagram. Seriously I needed to hear it all! Every single word. Thank you. 

I was trying to feed him pasta and he clearly didn't want any!

He was just reminding me that I can provide all the food in the world, but he is still in charge of eating and swallowing it. Touche kid. You win. 

 I also checked my records and had a big realization too. 

Here are the measurements I had for him this past month:

2/10 - 19 lbs 7.5 ounces
2/19 - 19 lbs 14 ounces (sick visit)
3/10- 19 lbs 12 ounces

So yes he dropped weight, but if we had never taken him in for a sick appointment then the doctors wouldn't have a record of the loss. They would have noted a 4.5 ounce gain. 

That's the positive I took away from this month. We are trying any foods we can think of to amp up his calories once again.

I made Fisher some mashed potatoes and he made it very clear how he felt. 

A lot of it boils down to the fact that he does not want us to feed him. He won't let us put a spoon or fork to his mouth. As you can see above he gets a little crazy. I really think he would love mashed potatoes but he won't try them. So we are going to focus on the finger foods. 

I even got crazy and let him try ice cream. He has a dairy allergy but I am hopeful that he will/has outgrown it. I had several people tell me they did ice cream to up calories so I thought it was worth a shot! I also wanted to test and see if he still got hives. 
So do you think he ate it?

He ate a bite...

and that was enough for him. 

Six months ago and that small bite would have been enough to break his entire body out in hives. I think that's a pretty good sign that he will be okay with dairy in the future but I am not convinced he should be drinking a cup of milk anytime soon. 

We will just keep trying! 

 The rest of the month, I am praying fervently for a weight gain and appetite increase from Fisher. We would love if you would join us in prayer too. 


  1. I've been thinking about you guys and praying for sweet Fisher. I'm sorry friend. I can't imagine how frustrating this must be.

  2. I know the aggravation and feel your pain. This is the kind of stress that can consume you! Graham also won't let us feed him but we have had a lot of luck with ravioli, beanie weenies and spaghettio's. (As the mom who used to make all her baby food from scratch I'm not proud to admit those last two things are staples in his diet but it is finally time to admit he broke me.) Oh and nutrigrain bars. We can't ever buy enough of those.

  3. Think about how your own weight fluctuates each time you get on the scale too. I always like to weigh myself in the mornings because I'm slightly lighter than I am in the evenings. A "drop" from 14oz to 12oz is hardly a "drop" at all! I call your visit a win. You are doing an excellent job and are an amazing mommy to Fisher. One day he will laugh and say "What was I thinking?!" when you tell him about all of these moments. XOXO

  4. I'm so sorry, Megan! But what a great way to look at that positive. Praying for you, Mama!

  5. I understand your frustration.. I am a speech language pathologist that works with feeding in pediatrics. Have you guys looked into feeding therapy for him? It may be very beneficial for him (and you guys as a family)! I apologize if you covered this topic elsewhere in your blog and I missed it!

  6. My heart breaks for you, Megan. I'll be praying for some improvement and that you can come across something that he will eat. Love you a bunch! (Patricia)

  7. My heart breaks for you, Megan. I'll be praying that you will discover something soon that he likes to eat. Love you a bunch!